Still, the reality is that it is really hard to make those first approaches and to start doing this seriously. There are a lot of prejudices and a lot of fear. It’s just not normal to be doing this and feels naturally awkward. But the goal is to get over it and start taking advantage of all the possibilities approaching during the day opens.
What I first realized is that when approaching women in these unconventional places there are two important things to take into account:
1- You have to inspire safety.
2- You have to be as natural as possible.
Inspiring safety is a vital point. If you don’t do it, you’ll create unnecessary tension and you will most surely end up failing as well. How safe is for her to speak with you is directly related with your appearance. Make sure to be well dressed, clean and don’t be wearing anything that could label you as creepy.
Then, be careful choosing where and when to approach. A dark alley in the late afternoon and with few people around is not the best spot and I guess you kind of understand why. Instead, you should focus on approaching in an environment that would look safe to her. A park, a bus full of people or a well-lit store are a few examples.
But safety is not enough; it’s kind of an absolute necessity for you to start. Once you have it, the trick is to be natural. It would be normal for you, me and everyone to be nervous in situations like these ones, but you got to be as natural as possible. Do as if you would be speaking with a friend or someone you know. The best way to do this is to approach fast! The more time you take to approach the girl you want, the more nervous you’ll get. You just have to forget about everything and go forward.
Then, as for the approach itself there are another group of important things you should take special attention to.
Be direct - Most of the internet says that the best way to approach women during the day is by saying some small thing about the environment, making some cute anecdote or, in the end, giving some indirect talk. The truth is that they are all wrong. In these kind of situations nothing is more effective than being direct. Don’t do small talk, don’t take girl’s time saying some random comments. Get straight to the point: you think she is cute and you had to meet her. Speak about her, make her feel important and, above all, comfortable.
Be positive – And by all means, don’t play defensively. One girl might come and tell you “Do you usually do this?” or “Do you always approach women in the cafe?”. In this case, just say that yes, you do. Be natural and keep playing her game. Be positive, smile and give value. That’s the key. As soon as you get in a defensive stance, your options will start waning.
Failure is an option – Not every girl you approach actually wants to be approached. Few have boyfriends, another couple are just uninterested in meeting you and a last few just won’t like you. So assume that rejection will happen. It’s certainly embarrassing to be rejected in public and in front of many other people, but it’s all worth the risk.
Practice is the key – As in every other skill, picking up girls is all about practice. Your first street approaches might be a big failure. I still remember the first couple of times I tried and how horrible it was to be sent away. But never give up and keep going, keep practicing and you’ll get better at it. It’s not easy to become one dangerous man during the day, but it’s actually not that hard either. If you seriously want to do this, put objectives. Approach at least one woman in an unconventional place everyday. If you can, approach even more. But do it! Practice and make a habit of it!
This is the general theory and my experience with approaching women during the day and at unconventional places. In the coming weeks I’ll be posting tips and guides focusing on every specific place and what I believe are the best strategies to take. Guides on flirting in the subway, the shopping mall, in the park and so on will be coming soon!
