Second Kisses

You worked hard – you did all you had to do, attracted and seduced that special girl and you finally kissed her for the first time. That first kiss is magical – especially when it comes to a girl you really like. A good kiss, big smiles and hands hold together make a perfect start.

But it doesn’t mean it’s all done. In fact, sometimes the hardest part of road is still ahead – and it’s not about going to bed altogether but about getting the second kiss.

Second kisses could be dramatically more difficult to get than firsts. Not always, but many more times that you would expect.

There are two reasons for this:

1- It’s the essence of women to be complicated – many times they just don’t know what they want.

2- Young and insecure women will be nervous about the possible commitments a second kiss will bring.

One sole kiss can be a mistake, a one-night thing or something that just happened. A second one, however, is much more about commitment and about showing you are really attracted to that person. It’s hard to escape after the second kiss.

Things get clear – you like me and I like you and it’s not just a night of madness. Once you get your second kiss you are a big step into a relationship.

How to Get Second Kisses

I had some big failures – worked hard and finally got that first kiss but then the second one became almost impossible. With experience and scars behind, I developed a strategy on how to avoid, if possible, most of the trouble:

1- Don’t Change

The main point you need to remember is this one: if a girl kisses you, it’s because she likes you. No girl goes flirting and kissing one guy she doesn’t feel attracted to – not at least she is drugged or drunk to blindness. All you did before will still work – no need to change the plans from one time to the next.

2- Make a Good Follow Up

How you play after the kiss will decide your fate. It would be foolish, if not altogether stupid, if you just vanish from the world for a while. Get her while she’s hot – be smart and move fast.

She’ll need her time – just make sure you don’t give her too much of it.

3- Just Make the First Kiss Perfect!

Kiss her like nobody else in her life has – rock her world! A good kiss, however, it’s not all about the kissing itself but about the whole circus around it. Make her feel great – make her have a great moment with you.

Say nice things to her, use your hands, grab hers, hug her and smile lots. Then, once you are leaving, go back and kiss her again. Make it special and she’ll have less to think about.

Giving Up Is Not Too Bad

Sometimes it’s smart just to give up. I hate to do that – giving up is not my style. But at the same time, think this: if she’s so complicated and so dramatic at this early stage, what’s there for you later on? You never know, but a safe bet is that this same drama might go to many more stages in a future relationship.

One girl once told me she didn’t sleep after our first kiss and that she ‘punished herself’ by not going out the next weekend. All because she had promised herself not to kiss anyone while traveling. And all after telling me I was one of the most attractive guys she had in her life.

I was, of course, astonished at hearing that. But then, as sad as I was, I thought: what would happen in the future with a girl like this one? So much drama for a kiss – imagine what’s to come? Screw it and move on.

Don’t Agree? Introspect

If you don’t get why I put emphasis on this, think about it this way.

Didn’t you ever really like a girl but there was something, most times beyond herself, that made you stand back?

Sometimes I love one of my co-workers, classmates or roommates. But I know that, unless she’s miss perfect, for my own sake it’s better to look for someone somewhere else. They are the girls I try never to sleep with – it’s just better, I believe, keeping it that way.

Yet, sometimes, a kiss or even a one-night stand with one of them is always excusable – it can just happen. If we are both a bit tipsy, at a party or at some kind of funny situation we can let it pass. But a second time, or doing something repeatedly will mean commitment – that there’s something else.

So sometimes, even if I’m very tempted to do something with a girl, I hold myself back and restrain myself from doing it. Girls will do the same. Be careful for it!

The Hottest Girls Are Easier

Copenhagen, where I live right now, is full of beautiful women. It’s striking – I came back to the city after a short trip to Switzerland last week and was already wowed in the metro going from the airport back home. It’s that crazy.

In a context as this one, it’s hard to settle down with just one girl. Not that I practice polygamy – it’s just that there are SO many others that look gorgeous that it’s distracting.

It may sound like a joke but I invite you to Scandinavia to try it out yourself.

In these cases, more than ever, the solution is clear: you have to go for the best. It’s that or nothing – or else, your eyes will keep on moving.

And going for the best is easier than you might think. The most beautiful girls in town are not usually the most demanded. The unconvinced nature of the masses, who believe that they are ‘not worth’ such babes is what makes this work.

Generally speaking, doing the unrealistic is often easier than doing the realistic. It’s lonely at the top. People often aim for the mediocre – and thus it makes the competition harder and fiercer for the ‘realistic’ goals, thus making them harder and demanding of more effort.

In practical terms, it means that it will be easier to pick up the 5% most beautiful girls in town that it will be to pick up the next 15-20%. At least, many more guys will be trying their luck with the latter.

It could sound weird on a first glance, but it is really like this. You’ll see it every day – most guys believe they are ‘not that good’ to get the perfect ten in the bar and go and hit on the nice 7s and hot 8s. Check and see.

This is not a matter only confined to romance. With the same reasoning, fighting to raise $20,000,000 will be easier than to go for $500,000. There’s less people applying for top leadership roles than there is to lower level.

Give it a Try

This doesn’t mean that the most beautiful women will be easy. Yet, you might have way more chances that you might first believe.

Capitalize on the mediocrity of the rest and give a try to the very best. Walk up to the nicest girl in the club, bar or in the café – do what most others won’t. Do it often and you might well land yourself a very nice girlfriend.

You don’t need to act differently – just remember one thing: the beautiful girls KNOW they are beautiful. It’s obvious, but it’s what makes the leap between them and other girls. Act accordingly – and read this past articleabout the topic.

It’s up to you boys, go and catch!