Pick up lines work. They certainly do. They a great weapon to have in hand. But not really in the sense you might believe or be thinking about. You should think of pick up lines as a good addition to your approaches, but not as the core and most important part of them. When approaching women there are certainly much more important things to take into account.
No matter how amazing and well thought these pick up lines could be, they are not what make the difference.What really matters here is the attitude in which you communicate. With this I mean the way you speak, your body language and what you inspire to these girls. The pick up line is no more than just the way to break the ice.
Let the truth be told – A guy with attitude, presence and belief but with the worst lines in the world might have much more success approaching than a shy, humble and stupid looking guy, even if this last one knows and studied the best lines. In a case like this, a simple “Hey” of the first guy can strike her more than the most precious line the second one has. After all, girls can predict everything after just a few words are spoken.
If you want to practice approaching women and get better at it, you should focus on raising your value, learning to have a commanding and great speech, your body language and so on. Once you get this done, that’s the moment to start learning those pick up lines too. By themselves they won’t do much, but they certainly will help and make things easier if you already have the first part of the deal complete.
With this said, I’ll give you a few tips with approaching itself. When it comes to pick up lines, there are two things that are important and they should focus on.
Make you differentiate – Most guys around are boring and predictable. The real sex worthy guy is the one who is charming, interesting and, above all, unpredictable. Luckily for us, there’s not many of these guys around. Become one by offering girls a completely different time from the one all the other men do. Your special one might be approached by tens of guys that same night, all of them almost asking her for an interview… So, do something different! Don’t ask her about what’s she studying, about her job – Don’t do what all the rest of the guys already did. Ask her what makes her special, what she does that the others don’t and so on.
Get the conversation going – Because of this, the best way to open is by asking her opinion or advice on something. Women love giving their advice, especially when it comes to something related with love, relationships and friendships. Combine that with some funny jokes early in the conversation and you are off to a good start. The idea is for you to be natural, not to make the situation look creepy or awkward. If you get good with this it doesn’t matter whether you are in a club, in a bar or even in the street.
As for approaching itself, there are also some advices you should take into account:
1- When you are going to approach one girl, remember that her friends also exist. Use them in your advantage, make them part of the conversation and give them enough attention. If they like you, they’ll work in your favor. If they don’t like you, start forgetting about that girl.
2- Tell them your time with them is limited. Say, when you approach a group of girls tell them that you can only stay for five minutes or so. That will help breaking the tension a little bit.
3- Don’t spend too much time thinking – Just approach! As fast as possible. If you take too much time you’ll look creepy, your brain will think excuses for you not approaching and so on. So be fast!
4- Be charming, always! Really, it’s the thing that makes the difference. (My article on how to be charismatic will come soon, I promise!)
5- You’ll be rejected many, many times. Don’t let that get you down and move on to the next one and so on.
6- Last but not least, SMILE. If you want to be successful, approach with a smile on your face. Even if James Bond approaches with a serious looking face, you will do it with a smile! It just works.
As a conclusion to all this, remember that the most simple approaches might surely work if you do it with charm, a smile and a bit of fun. It’s all in the attitude – And combine this attitude with the best lines around it’s a big win.
And always, in any conversation you end up with, speak like a man. Read this article. Be interesting. There’s no point in all of the above if you look like an idiot two minutes into the conversation.
Approaching Girls During The Day
Not so long ago I decided it was time for me to start approaching at unconventional places. Buses, subway, the street, libraries, stores and supermarkets, just to give a few examples, are all enormous possibilities. After all, during the day I see much better looking women around – and the competition is far less numerous. Few people dare to approach during daytime and that’s something great. What they do in the end is just to leave the way clear for us.
Still, the reality is that it is really hard to make those first approaches and to start doing this seriously. There are a lot of prejudices and a lot of fear. It’s just not normal to be doing this and feels naturally awkward. But the goal is to get over it and start taking advantage of all the possibilities approaching during the day opens.
What I first realized is that when approaching women in these unconventional places there are two important things to take into account:
1- You have to inspire safety.
2- You have to be as natural as possible.
Inspiring safety is a vital point. If you don’t do it, you’ll create unnecessary tension and you will most surely end up failing as well. How safe is for her to speak with you is directly related with your appearance. Make sure to be well dressed, clean and don’t be wearing anything that could label you as creepy.
Then, be careful choosing where and when to approach. A dark alley in the late afternoon and with few people around is not the best spot and I guess you kind of understand why. Instead, you should focus on approaching in an environment that would look safe to her. A park, a bus full of people or a well-lit store are a few examples.
But safety is not enough; it’s kind of an absolute necessity for you to start. Once you have it, the trick is to be natural. It would be normal for you, me and everyone to be nervous in situations like these ones, but you got to be as natural as possible. Do as if you would be speaking with a friend or someone you know. The best way to do this is to approach fast! The more time you take to approach the girl you want, the more nervous you’ll get. You just have to forget about everything and go forward.
Then, as for the approach itself there are another group of important things you should take special attention to.
Be direct - Most of the internet says that the best way to approach women during the day is by saying some small thing about the environment, making some cute anecdote or, in the end, giving some indirect talk. The truth is that they are all wrong. In these kind of situations nothing is more effective than being direct. Don’t do small talk, don’t take girl’s time saying some random comments. Get straight to the point: you think she is cute and you had to meet her. Speak about her, make her feel important and, above all, comfortable.
Be positive – And by all means, don’t play defensively. One girl might come and tell you “Do you usually do this?” or “Do you always approach women in the cafe?”. In this case, just say that yes, you do. Be natural and keep playing her game. Be positive, smile and give value. That’s the key. As soon as you get in a defensive stance, your options will start waning.
Failure is an option – Not every girl you approach actually wants to be approached. Few have boyfriends, another couple are just uninterested in meeting you and a last few just won’t like you. So assume that rejection will happen. It’s certainly embarrassing to be rejected in public and in front of many other people, but it’s all worth the risk.
Practice is the key – As in every other skill, picking up girls is all about practice. Your first street approaches might be a big failure. I still remember the first couple of times I tried and how horrible it was to be sent away. But never give up and keep going, keep practicing and you’ll get better at it. It’s not easy to become one dangerous man during the day, but it’s actually not that hard either. If you seriously want to do this, put objectives. Approach at least one woman in an unconventional place everyday. If you can, approach even more. But do it! Practice and make a habit of it!
This is the general theory and my experience with approaching women during the day and at unconventional places. In the coming weeks I’ll be posting tips and guides focusing on every specific place and what I believe are the best strategies to take. Guides on flirting in the subway, the shopping mall, in the park and so on will be coming soon!
Still, the reality is that it is really hard to make those first approaches and to start doing this seriously. There are a lot of prejudices and a lot of fear. It’s just not normal to be doing this and feels naturally awkward. But the goal is to get over it and start taking advantage of all the possibilities approaching during the day opens.
What I first realized is that when approaching women in these unconventional places there are two important things to take into account:
1- You have to inspire safety.
2- You have to be as natural as possible.
Inspiring safety is a vital point. If you don’t do it, you’ll create unnecessary tension and you will most surely end up failing as well. How safe is for her to speak with you is directly related with your appearance. Make sure to be well dressed, clean and don’t be wearing anything that could label you as creepy.
Then, be careful choosing where and when to approach. A dark alley in the late afternoon and with few people around is not the best spot and I guess you kind of understand why. Instead, you should focus on approaching in an environment that would look safe to her. A park, a bus full of people or a well-lit store are a few examples.
But safety is not enough; it’s kind of an absolute necessity for you to start. Once you have it, the trick is to be natural. It would be normal for you, me and everyone to be nervous in situations like these ones, but you got to be as natural as possible. Do as if you would be speaking with a friend or someone you know. The best way to do this is to approach fast! The more time you take to approach the girl you want, the more nervous you’ll get. You just have to forget about everything and go forward.
Then, as for the approach itself there are another group of important things you should take special attention to.
Be direct - Most of the internet says that the best way to approach women during the day is by saying some small thing about the environment, making some cute anecdote or, in the end, giving some indirect talk. The truth is that they are all wrong. In these kind of situations nothing is more effective than being direct. Don’t do small talk, don’t take girl’s time saying some random comments. Get straight to the point: you think she is cute and you had to meet her. Speak about her, make her feel important and, above all, comfortable.
Be positive – And by all means, don’t play defensively. One girl might come and tell you “Do you usually do this?” or “Do you always approach women in the cafe?”. In this case, just say that yes, you do. Be natural and keep playing her game. Be positive, smile and give value. That’s the key. As soon as you get in a defensive stance, your options will start waning.
Failure is an option – Not every girl you approach actually wants to be approached. Few have boyfriends, another couple are just uninterested in meeting you and a last few just won’t like you. So assume that rejection will happen. It’s certainly embarrassing to be rejected in public and in front of many other people, but it’s all worth the risk.
Practice is the key – As in every other skill, picking up girls is all about practice. Your first street approaches might be a big failure. I still remember the first couple of times I tried and how horrible it was to be sent away. But never give up and keep going, keep practicing and you’ll get better at it. It’s not easy to become one dangerous man during the day, but it’s actually not that hard either. If you seriously want to do this, put objectives. Approach at least one woman in an unconventional place everyday. If you can, approach even more. But do it! Practice and make a habit of it!
This is the general theory and my experience with approaching women during the day and at unconventional places. In the coming weeks I’ll be posting tips and guides focusing on every specific place and what I believe are the best strategies to take. Guides on flirting in the subway, the shopping mall, in the park and so on will be coming soon!
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